I really thought that I would have bought a diary by now. I went a whole year without writing anything about my life. Sure I did a little poetry, but I really didn't do much. I let all of 2008 slip by it seems. Now that I'm in a new year, I see that writing what's going on in my life definitely helps me keep tabs on my feelings and where my emotions are pulling me.
Lately I have been in a state of blah... I just don't feel too strongly about anything. I don't feel depressed, excited, motivated, hurt, happy... nothing really. Of course there are discreet moments when I am happy... sad... mad... etc. But as an overall feeling of something, I don't have it. It's weird. I leads me to believe I am in a state of transition. I am going to have to make some definite decisions in my life in order to move forward. Changes regarding my faith, my body, my relationships... everything.
I can no longer let life happen to me. I can't.
What I have noticed is that I have not allowed myself to sit somewhere and think about what I need to focus on. Like I'm avoiding it. That sounds like me. I mean even a simple list of things to pray for would be nice... but then I would have to address these things. Sigh... I don't know why I am making it so difficult. What's always resounding in my head is "Don't let another year go by without doing something memorable."
I'm going to settle down and face what I'm avoiding soon. I can't continue like this.
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