good things come...bad things do too

so, let's start with the good. i have a second interview tomorrow with a great non-profit. i am excited, however i know that God will give me what he wants me to have and i don't have to worry about things. i juse need to do my best and pray on it and leave the rest to him. my mom is crunk as if i got the job, but i haven't and until i sign an offer letter i am just interviewing to let them know i can do this job. i mean if i get it great if not, i will be on the grind again for something else. the way i see it. i have the job i want...God has already done that for me, because i prayed and asked in faith that he would. i just need to get to it. not worry about it. anyways, i am excited. i did not think i would have gotten a call back. i get so nervous, i'm hoping that this time, i'll be more calm and happy so they can see my bubbly personality. so, that's what i have going on. i have a retreat to go to this weekend and then to a fish fry and then to a poetry slam thing. i have not been to a poetry venue in a while. i need to hear some good words...i still need to write some. i wrote in my book over the weekend. nice. i need to finish it.

okay for the bad...it's not too bad...just not all that great. ts came around...in our conversation, i was able to deduce that he has been having sex...not a big shocker...but, who so you think he's sexin'? right...her... that made my heart stop. i think i stopped breathing after i concluded that. we were talking still, but i felt hot and bothered...and not in the good way. i think i was jealous and i wanted to ask questions, but i didn't to save myself the mental drama. it's okay for me to think it, but to have him confirm it or even worse...avoid answering the question, would kill me. WHY?? i don't know.

so where does that leave me...leaving him alone. again.

*sigh* sucks.

i hope my interview goes well and that i'm the one they want. i want to be wanted. if they don't want me...then i will be okay. that's the beauty if looking for jobs when you have one. i need to move on in my career. i want to take the right steps in it. it's not about the money so much as being in the right position to make moves... it's all about the moves. that and the fact that i just don't care about this job anymore...it shows in how i respond to stuff and the fact that i am writing in my blog while at work.

other than that...i'm good. which is a lovely thing for me. i'm not sad...that's HOT!!